Mary Horowitz wasn’t the only thing that plummeted into the deep, dark, abyss of a mineshaft in the would-be comedy All About Steve. Playing an oddball creator of the weekly crossword puzzle in a local newspaper, Sandra Bullock gives us an enthusiastic performance that, unfortunately, isn’t enough to resurrect this film from the pit it dug and shamelessly flung itself into.

The more than handsome Bradley Cooper plays news cameraman, Steve: the object of Mary’s sudden and obsessive affection. Surely, many women would like to chase Cooper across the country with his charmingly perfect smile, deep blue eyes, and chiseled features. However, most women would prefer to keep their dignity, understanding that men would rather lie to be polite, than tell the truth and break some hearts.

There are storms, tornadoes, and even locusts. The only two things this film lacks are humor, and respect for the intelligent woman. Being smart isn’t a crime especially if you’re a woman—beauty and brains make up parts of the whole. But Mary’s constant bombarding of obscure facts and quotes made one want to turn off her smart section of the brain because it got intensely irritating. Nobody likes a Know-It-All regardless of sex.

The two bright spots in this cinematic error, and yes there were bright spots, were Thomas Haden Church, and Ken Jeong, playing news crewmen Hartman Hughes, and Angus. Both provided the comedy that should have been given by Bullock but through no fault of her own, (this one’s on the screenwriters) turned out sadly desperate rather than funny.